By: Freaknick

Tired of being manhandled by bigger, stronger players? Call now!

And then, he appeared.

Ricky Rubio.  On my television. In what appears to be his first American television spot since being drafted, Ricky flashed on the screen for about a second in a 30-second Gillette commercial (and boy-oh-boy was it an inspiring second).

At 18, Rubio is anxiously awaiting that first sign of peach fuzz, and until that happens Gillette can plaster close-ups of his silky mug on billboards from Minneapolis to Madrid.

So as Gillette reaps the benefits of puberty’s tardiness, Rubio faces a pricy buyout (6.6 million, soon to be 7.9) from his Spanish team, DKV Joventut, and it’s creativity that will pull him out of this financial rut and get him into a T’Wolves jersey next season.  I put on my thinking cap and came up with a few ideas:

Nutrisystem for Men’s Euro Platinum Edition. The pre-packaged meals designed specifically for European basketball prospects.  We’ll fill out your frame by the All-Star break or your money back!

Survivor Man: Ricky vs. Minny. Rubio (and his mom) are convinced that the Twin Cities boast an arctic climate, and Discovery Channel or National Geographic needs to put together a miniseries documenting his struggles with the chilly walks to and from his BMW.

Brett and Ricky’s Minnesota Magic 8-Ball. Will Ricky play in Minnesota this year?  Will Brett Favre be a Viking? Just shake the 8-ball to find out where your favorite waffling Minnesota athlete will be this season. And remember to check back every day, as the answer is never the same! GUARANTEED!  This year’s hot holiday seller.