Alonzo Gee and His Text Only Cell Phone Plan

By: Sam Meyerkopf / @euro_adventures

As quickly as he came to the Euroleague, he left.  Rumors started swirling around the Twittersphere early on Tuesday with word that Asseco Prokom forward and proud Alabama alum Alonzo Gee had left the team.  The story gets a childish twist to it, as it seems Gee sent a regular old SMS text message to his coach, informing him that he was headed back stateside. ELA first caught wind of Gee’s middle school tactics after Jakub Wojcsynski tweeted it out, and the story was later confirmed by Sportando and other sources.

Now we all know breakups are hard, but no one likes being dumped via text.  Face to face should be the norm, but a call at the very least is required.  Maybe even a long e-mail explaining how We were growing apart and need some time away from each other would be appreciated.  But a text? How dare you, Alonzo.

Since we’re not sure exactly what this text contained, let’s take a few guesses at what Gee might have conjured up in 160 characters to send over to coach Tomas Pacesas.

“Hey Coach, I just got a flight back home so I’ll see you later.  Holler if you’re ever in Cleveland.”

“Guess who just got a one-way ticket back to America?!  This Guy.  Sorry but flights were mad cheap.”

“It’s my cousin’s bday next week and this lockout could end in the next couple months so I’m out. Peace.”

“NBA might start playing by Christmas, so you know I gotta go get some rest and momma’s cooking.”

“It’s legit if I leave right?  I’ve been craving Chick-Fil-A, so I just bought a flight.”

“Would it be cool if I left the team?  My boy B-Davis said we’re playing soon so I’m headed back.”

“I can’t play for the team anymore, the NBA season might be starting shortly.  But you’re still coming to my holiday party right?”

“Thanks for everything coach but we don’t practice this hard in the NBA, so I got to bounce.”

“Stern is whack but the NBA season is goina start soon, I can feel it. Wanna grab some perogies before I head out?”